Thread: The Wilderness | Short Story

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  1. #1 The Wilderness | Short Story 
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    I gripped my blade and slowly removed it from it's sheath; I could sense danger approaching. I should have taken more caution when approaching the Wilderness; I had heard of the battles that had destroyed this city. I turned to my left, expecting an attack although I saw nothing but the misty fog that roamed the ditches of this land. Some say the fog is the spirits of the dead that had deceased here, that somehow they seeked vengeance and would take it out on those who entered; they were the guardians of the Wilderness.

    All at once I heard a terrifying shriek from behind me, the spot I stood just a minute ago. I span round to face my enemy, it was an Archer. They were popular around Varrock, I had been expecting an attack; however this would not work in my favour - I was a mere melee warrior and I could not reach his arrows. There was only one thing I could do, take the battle to him.

    I ran towards the Archer at full pelt, I could see the fear in his eyes, he did not expect this. I had been waiting for this moment for a long time, my first taste of blood which would make me a true warrior. I tried to stop my heartbeat, a common trick among experienced Warriors; it makes aim and precision better. I was only a few paces away, I had to think fast; I grabbed my Abyssal Whip from my side and held it firmly. I came closer to the archer, confident, only to find the Archer had something called a 'Dark Bow' one of the most deadliest weapons an Archer could hold.

    There was no denying the fear that tugged my insides, but I pushed it away; this was what I was born for... I was a warrior of the Wilderness. Someone would die tonight, but not me; I would make sure the Archer perished in his own arrows.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I wrote this in five minutes, so it's probably kind of sloppy. I haven't finished it yet although I hope to do so soon when I have the time! If you read it, thank you; I really appreciate it! I'm also aware I overuse ';' it's a bad habit that I'm trying to put a stop to.
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  3. #2  


    Major's Avatar
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    Try reading what you write out loud after writing it, because this doesn't flow well.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Major View Post
    Try reading what you write out loud after writing it, because this doesn't flow well.
    Alright, thanks. I still have alot to learn; still taking my GCSE's.
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    more a story than a literature art. nice story thou.
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    It sounds alright. You did a superb job of describing the setting and the emotions of the character in the first person POV. I'm not going to lie I kind of laughed when I read abyssal whip and dark bow but that's simply because i'm far too familiar with the two terms and am not familiar seeing them intertwined with literature & writing. Keep writing, i'd like to read more of this later on.
    All the best,
    Nirvana

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    That was quite good, I did find this line a little sloppy though: "the Archer had something called a 'Dark Bow' one of the most deadliest weapons an Archer could hold."
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    Quote Originally Posted by Harry View Post
    That was quite good, I did find this line a little sloppy though: "the Archer had something called a 'Dark Bow' one of the most deadliest weapons an Archer could hold."
    Thanks, I appreciate it. And yeah, I quoted it was quite sloppy; I was making a background story for a server of a friend of mine and I had rougly 4-5 minutes to write this up. Thanks though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nirvana View Post
    It sounds alright. You did a superb job of describing the setting and the emotions of the character in the first person POV. I'm not going to lie I kind of laughed when I read abyssal whip and dark bow but that's simply because i'm far too familiar with the two terms and am not familiar seeing them intertwined with literature & writing. Keep writing, i'd like to read more of this later on.
    Thanks!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bart_ View Post
    more a story than a literature art. nice story thou.
    Thanks, and yeah I guess so.
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